A New Dawn

I posted this on Jennis:

I tripped up a bit when reading the first line -- chasing "for" stars was a bit hard of a read for me, then again I'm having hard time reading anything tonight, haha!

It could be because the poem I recently read from you, Jenni, but I instantly find the spirituality here in this poem. It reminds me of the journey and struggle people of faith so often have -- lonesome, they search. They'll search everywhere, in false idols and prophets, false dreams and hopes, only to be built up and torn down again (getting into the third stanza here). Then crushed, and starting all over again.. almost questioning if God is real, if He is going to show himself (the new dawn).

Of course I could be 100% off but your newest poem made me think of this. This poem can be taken in so many different ways and that's what I love about poetry. You can tailor it to your own life and pull meaning to yourself. This is no different.. it's really beautiful.

I don't know who wrote what. Jenni I like to think I know your style pretty well but I can't pick "you" out in here.. you've got a new style going on. I will say, though, that the reading and wording of the entire second stanza struck me the most.. possibly because it was the most "intense" (meat) of the poem for me. I felt the most emotion from it there. Overall this is really a gorgeous piece of poetry!

I'm so excited to read this collaboration!!! I swear I gave a little cry of joy when I saw this. I feel immersed in this poem, and right away the title gave me such a spirited atmosphere: a new dawn. I liked the image of the seagulls in the beginning and personifying them, because how often have we felt alone and like we are either running around in circles or chasing a dream that is so far down in our future? Great choice of words that involve the senses and make this piece breathe with life.

I too can read through poetry fast but this was one poem that I relished in, took my time, and read each line slowly. There's so much to take in with every line, from the seagulls pecking to a transformation taking place.... like a new leaf is turning when the pebbles overturn and seemingly sandcastles are built, sturdy, laid out as a foundation. I definitely can connect with the sandcastles and building toward one's dream, because it's such a tangible activity. Feeling the tiny particles, like of one's life, and being able to mold that is definitely like taking control of one's life for the better. Giving hope.

This has to be one of my favorite stanzas, though I really love them all, I felt this was even stronger:

"graciously forming them, as moments of purity
sail by; memories slowly annihilated; whilst
they say dreams turn to ashes and dust,"

- There's such beauty & joy here that is untarnished. Perfectly expressed in purity sailing by. I also thought mentioning memories was interesting, I can see how that could be a dark moment if these memories were pleasant ones, but how I see it is we may not know if we've been holding onto a memory that is unhealthy to us, that we've been mulling over and wondering about. I definitely see the move forward thoughts here. Good usage of that idea that dreams turn to ashes and dust....that may be a reality sometimes but those dreams don't stop striving. They still try to reach as high as they can.

Such a full, inspirational piece, I enjoyed every second of reading it!!! So proud of you two :]

A seagull is such a perfect metaphor here, as you are starting that new beginning 'a new dawn'...perhaps gaining some freedom back of which the seagull symbolizes quite well. I loved the usage of 'suavely' not often you hear that in poetry, it is just a lovely word, so graceful, like a seagull in flight. The image of building sandcastles was great, I see this whole poem as two similar souls coming together, building hopes and dreams together. Obviously this is under the life section, but you're building that life together. Also I see these seagulls flying between what is like 'death' but not death, more so just the fact that you were at that point where you hit rock bottom and you're trying to reach heaven and life. What a lovely piece you two have created! It's so beautiful!