Comments : Death in Rome

  • 11 years ago

    by Piogga

    First of all, the title caught my eye. I think it is poetic though quite straight to the point. I just love metonymy and places mentioned in poetry. It excites me a bit. So I was wondering which you used or maybe it's both.
    Death is something that's often written about in poetry. But to me, the feelings evoked by such circumstance can never be really expressed in words. That said, I have written about death myself, and I read back those poems and I think to myself, this isn't enough. It's such an all-encompassing thing. You did a great job here.
    I think this is very organized. It starts with the narrator receiving the news, the tornado of emotions begin to destroy everything. Then there's numbness (it is the body's way of fighting back). There's doubt and questioning. You just rounded it all up.
    But then again, you did not reveal who has died. I'm not sure whether it's someone the narrator knows, or maybe it's a mass killing and hearing about those things in the news really gets us down. It's sad knowing those things are happening to other around the world, people with families and loved ones, and here we are, alive. It's quite a personal poem, and versatile in a way that the readers can still connect due to the topic, the emotions presented here.
    I personally liked how the first stanza flowed but as it progressed, I thought the flow somehow shifts a lot and there's no prevalent rhythm. I'm not sure how to explain it but maybe it's just me. I would also like to point out that the last line, I think should be: so tell me, why are we planning death?
    If you want to retain the question mark, otherwise, I think it should be omitted.
    It's a well written poem. Well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    I love the last stanza.