Scarred Paper

Omg how did I miss this ... What a beautiful piece,
So much beautiful written between each word...
It's so cleverly written aswell .

This is one of my favourites , alot of people would relate
To this I love the end line

Rewrite over you ....

Such a powerful thought .

Amazing

Oh, Hannah, this is beautiful! Your word play is always amazing, and this is just another example. I love the theme and how everything blended into so well with it. Even though the tone suggests sadness, it also has a soothing effect, and somehow, it reminds me of the sea crashing onto rocks, kind of like the state of the relationship described in the poem. I really enjoyed this. Lovely write :)

I love you.

Omg...your poetry SOOOOO often reminds me of my own writing....Here, I've written so many poems about poetry, so many poems about not being able to write about anything but a certain someone, I didnt think there was any other metaphor to explain it, yet youve done it...with splashing ink, and a sea of broken words..my my...

erasing past mistaskes,
like the 'and' between...

you and me.

^ This broke my heart...loved the craftiness in this, but its soooo heart breaking because I know that feeling.

Dear God Hannah I need to read more of your poetry it really hits home for me...LOVE IT

I loved the opening usage of 'navy ink' here, I haven't seen that pairing before and it inticed me more into the poem.

I like the strong beginings in each stanza, but I did get a bit confused at the line reading "like the and between"- I was trying to figure out if it was a typo for in-between or if it needed to be written as "like the 'and' between... you and me." The pause did also make it a little more confusing but I that once read over a couple times I understood better.

The way you ended the poem with the line "however, one day I will rewrite over you." showed me a stength you were forming and gave me the hope that you would turn out just fine.

Interesting write!

I read this a few times. Added to my favorites. I think every writer and poet can relate to this. We've all written something so personal that we cry on the paper. I would've never thought there'd be a poem about it - so yay for originality. This is superb, my dear.

"Navy ink smears between the pitter-patter of my tears,
creating a sea of broken words and confused punctuation;
there is no rescue mission for this battleship anymore."

^So, from the start you already know this isn't just a little sadness cry, because a tear here-and-there doesn't have a sound to it. The speaker is lost and broken, and her tears pitter-patter on the paper, which causes the writing on the page to blur when the tears hit it. The last line strikes me. There is such a sad uncertainty to the wording. "there is no rescue mission for this battleship anymore." There's no words for an SOS. It's just acceptance that the ship is pretty much done sinking. I'd almost place this in the sad category.

"Alabaster waves tackle unwanted syllables,
erasing past mistaskes,
like the and between...

you and me."

^I'm really not much of a fan of "..." in poetry. I don't know. It creates unnecessary pauses. If that's the effect that you were going for, that's the effect it gave off. I would personally think it would be okay without the "..." and keep the "you and me" line alone. I could just be missing something of significance, so don't mind me. :P This is a great part though. I like the returning view of the paper when the "alabaster waves tackle unwanted syllables". It shows the paper is visible again from underneath the mistakes. It's just a pretty thought.

"There will always be a scar on my paper,
imperfection can not blend -
however, one day I will rewrite over you. "

^This wrapped it up nicely. It's not only talking about what the eraser can't completely get rid of - it talks about writing over it, moving past the error and doing something new. Which has two separate connotations in this stanza. You can also see the speaker say that he/she will always be scarred, have the memory of you that they cannot fully erase, but sometime soon, they'll move on, and they'll find that something new. Which was a light at the end of this piece.

If I had a nomination left this week, I would nominate it. I sincerely hope this gets recognition. It's totally outstanding.