Comments : Courage

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Very inspirational, Danny!
    It is definitely courageous to look death/the devil in the face and stand tall and speak "God is MY God, and he is the one I will follow, not you." on judgement day! Very nice.

    A few little critiques... I think this little poem would benefit from some punctuation with some commas, periods , as well as some quotation marks. I'll show you how I would change it, and you can use it or not... just trying to be helpful. :) Hope you don't take it offensively or anything.

    Courage is to look
    Death and the Devil in the eye,
    facing your fears
    and saying "God help me!"
    Standing ready for the judgement -
    for my God is just a God,
    and it is His will that has brought me here.

    Oh, and I think maybe instead of "the judgement" you should say "my judgement" because everyone's judgement is different in the end.

    Once again, very inspirational write! Beautiful!

    • 11 years ago

      by Lifesbreath

      Oh your punctuation is right on and makes this poem so much better! When it come to "the judgement" it effects everyone arouind me sort of heightens me to make the right decisions and just for not just my own benefit. "My judgement" a very stand alone hero message is sexy but not so much left to lose.

      Thank you Hannah!

  • 11 years ago

    by JaneDoeWrites

    I'm with Hannah, this is a very powerful write. You stick with the title 'courage' well, expressing that throughout the piece. I'm glad you have adding some punctuation, like I said before it's guiding the reader to notice the important parts that you want to hit with a BANG.

    and saying, "God help me!"

    ^^ This line was great, I felt like I was standing there sending myself. Great job Danny!

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I'm so glad you took my advice, just the addition of a little bit of punctuation makes this poem 10x powerful! Great job!!!