Comments : Faced by Winter

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Nice story, there was a part where I felt it a bit weak, eventually it regained strength and it captured my attention.

    It's sad when adventures are supposed to be enjoyed and they end up in tragedy.

    That was captured within the poem.

    • 11 years ago

      by Robert

      If you could tell me which part needed mor attention I would appreciate it. I wrote this poem a way while back.

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    The materials I had were short and simple
    Enough to make a bed, and a fire to cook on,
    But little did I know about what was to come
    and how I was to survive left me all from numb

    A gust of wind, and a snowstorm at that
    Was no help to me, for I lost everything I had
    To walk in the dark, but my breath was visible
    was all but comforting, for I was invisible

    The rhyming in this two stanza sounds kind of force in my opening and that's what I meant by a bit weak.

    • 11 years ago

      by Robert

      Thank you, i will look at that later.

  • 11 years ago

    by Vic Johns

    I do enjoy a good adventure poem and this one has plenty of dare and excitement within !

    I think the moral message here is Never take Mother Nature for granted, it's a very one-sided contest!!