I wonder if god hears my prayers,
because if he do, he must ignore them..
I've been praying for a change and it still hasn't come.
thoughts poison my mind,
Corrupt my soul
Hearing those voices, those dark
sinical voice telling me to end it.
Suicide seems like the only relief...
but my belief in God won't let me.
They say an idol mind is a devils playground,
well he must be having a ball inside of my head.
So i begin to pop sleeping pills,
not for a the pleasure of a euphoric high,
but because the cold, death like sleep is
the closet i can get to death without actually dying.
but every morning i awake. Awake with the attempt
to mask these feelings, but the paints beginning to run.
I can no long withhold such a heavy burden.
I come from a place, where "parents"
are extinct. Love, hope, and faith are
words with no meaning.
The Coldness of my heart,
has caused my soul to freeze.
The years of pain have finally,
taken its toll. I can no longer distinguish
real from fake. So i push the ones
who say they care away.
But even in the mist of all this darkness,
There is still a dim flickering flame
theres still that yearning of curiosity
and hope that this won't always be.
That this war I'm going through is soon
coming to its end. I feel its God. Telling me
I'm here to serve a divine, God-like purpose.
So i remain here, trying to muster the last bit
of fight i have in me. Look the "enemy" in the eye
and let him know. through all the rain, pain, lies and deceit.
I can not, will not, accept defeat!
