by Jack Nightengale Apr 27, 2013
category :
Dark, fantasy /
fantasy, mystical
Wings now blackened spread within the light, |
I really liked your use of language, and your rhymes were strong. ONe thing I will say, though, is that I think the third line in the second stanza is a little too short. I understand that because of the next line is slightly longer, making the line before shorter should balance it out, but I think it's a little too short. |
by Biancas Veil
I like the way you have adapted this this story to your writing style great work |