Once again you definitely can't allow someone like this to get to you so badly. I know I know it hurts, I wish I could take your pain away but letting them get the best of you will only make them have more pride. He has a sick twisted mind to want the worst for you but in the end, don't stoop to their level, don't let him get the best of you. You are strong.

At first my thought was 'Unfinished' being unfinished buisness, like you were going to go all kung fu on him :D You should definitely look into the kickboxing classes though! I know you had said something about that. Take that anger out on something. Feel energized, get your life back :)

I like how you speak of the knife as a paintbrush, I know the metaphor so I see the dark meaning yet at the same time. 'Killing me softly' comes to mind, it's a part of a song and a paintbrush is a great way to disguise the pain, make death seem more lively and welcoming, though it certaintly isn't I don't think, but when you're going through this much it must seem so. :/

Like I've said a million times, you have to remain strong. Depending upon such things will only dig yourself a bigger hole in life..you don't want that. You have the love and respect of so many other people, lean on them, they are there for you. Trust me. You know I'm always open for talking about whatever if you ever need anything.

I think you really need to go do something for you though, poetry is a wonderful release yet at the same time maybe go out with a friend, go get a massage, pamper yourself. Do something you enjoy doing, have the day to yourelf. Like I said, work on getting your life back on track, eliminate the negativity in your life, (clearly your ex). Love you! I definitely wouldn't want to lose such a wonderful friend, ever. Keep your head up girl!