You are mine
by Rozalina Reyes Apr 29, 2013
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It's here and now |
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11 years ago
"Another serenade
To a masked avenger."
- I really like your word choice here, almost like you were romanticizing the end, death.
The part that really hit me was how you said with such passion you believe in God & Jesus yet you can't save yourself, like you have all the means to but you just don't have faith enough in yourself.
I liked the twist in the middle, how you almost "recalled" and drew into your thoughts this person who has shaped you in away, been a beacon to you, and the "secret strength". That was neat, my only suggestion would be to make the transition more noticeable with a break in the stanza or saying how he/she has changed your mind, I just think it's too quick of a thought change between the frustration and despair in the beginning then the closing lines of "all is well".
