3.16am

by Jenni Marie   May 1, 2013


Hair scraped back in a ponytail, sweats on and a hoodie wrapped around this frail body. Vodka in one hand, cigerrate in the other. 3.16am. It's clear I'm not at my best right now.

I told myself to keep pouring glass after glass because it numbed the pain, I didn't want to feel it. Because come on, who wants to hurt this severely? But then I realized... I can overcome this. I just need to let myself feel it. If I allow myself to feel it I can sift through the emotional turmoil and come out on the other side of it. Happier. Healthier. Stronger.

You may be glad to know I'm welcoming the pain because it means countless tears are destined to flow. Would you be glad to know that I welcome the tears now? Because it means I can work through the hurt you caused and become myself once more. I'm better than this, I know it. I just let myself forget for a little while. You can bend me...you will never break me.

And as I take another puff I think to myself...I can do this. Another sip followed with...I'm stronger than this. You tore down my walls and left me all alone in a burning building where there's nothing left now but ashes and dust. But I escaped. I may not be homefree quite just yet, but I can see the exit. I know I can make it. You may have burned me...you haven't broken me. Because I'm better than this.

You may not believe in me, in fact I'm starting to realize that you never did. Your words were nothing but poisonous lies and whispered fairy-tales that you never planned on following through with. No, you may not believe in me. But I believe in myself, and that's enough.

I'm better than you.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I love how these types of poems with a title of a certain time are so personal, even more personal than a normal poem. I just love how it seems like a diary entry. I also am glad that you are becoming a bit optimistic about all this, if you just believe in yourself I know you can do this. However, I don't believe these little habits are going to make matters better, but it's something you resort to and may relieve your stress which I may understand but they could possibly dig you into a darker hole eventually.

    I thought it was quite perfect the image of leaving you in a burning building, sounds terrible but it's really a great metaphor for this. You just feel so alone, and I see it also as like a wake up call I guess, I feel like if you don't get out of this dangerous situation fast you'll be consumed by it. More so digging yourself out of this hole you're in and feeling like you aren't hitting rock bottom anymore.

    Loved the ending, re emphasizes your strength and that you can do this, that you are better than him.. because yes you are! Well done!

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