by Saerelune
A very playful write. Something different from your usual work. I liked the "echoes" you incorporated in here. Not many images, but still very melancholic. Only problem I got was with the syntax of the first three lines, sounds a bit odd to me. But I guess if done otherwise, "away" wouldn't be as much emphasized. Simple but powerful. |
by Hellon
There is something both adult and child like in this poem...I think it's some thoughts that youve put up here and that's fine... |
by Vic Johns
Very poetic with a simple, yet meaningful flow! 5/5 |
Wonderfully Done Noura!!! |
by Redangelwings
This is a cute and interesting poem. When someone goes away it is maddening to see and wait for their return. I love the use of Jasmine. Not a lot of people know its a flower so the lines were great tbere. In your head you think he will return but you nrver truly know. Ilove this poem ooverall though as its a poem that leaves you on edge. Never knowing what is going to happen next! 5/5 |