Life

How did this begin?
What brought me to this?
To this dark place that makes me feel like I can't escape.
Laying here wondering.
Not knowing what to do.
Crying myself to sleep.
Only to wake up in the morning and paint the smile back on my face.
The knife became my best friend.
Seeming like the only thing that was always there for me when I needed it.
My body dripping with my crimson regrets.
Waiting and wanting my entrnal rest to being.
The tears pouring from my eyes as the reality sinks in.
This life will never get any easier.
It will never give me a break.
But it's just the life that I am forced to live.
And I just lay in my bed crying while all my regrets flow from my body.