Sparkling Hope

Judging comment:

"This is, quite simply, one of the more beautiful poems I have read in a very long time. I find the imagery throughout astounding and it's written in such a lovely and elegant way and allows me to see everything the author describes very clearly in my mind. For such a short poem I find the whole piece to be very moving and I simply adore the personification and metaphors used throughout. The author clearly has a knack for this genre if this one poem is anything to go by. I found this to be so creative and unique and I adore it from start to finish."

Judge comment:

The imagery here is what won me over -- that paired with so many ideas put together that personified the moon. The moon obviously can't cry, but the moon is also something in the sky that EVERYONE in the world knows about. It's something that is on display every single day, almost in a fishbowl if you will.. so I thought that was really interesting. Such a creative little poem packed with so much punch.. but again I must say the imagery here is what is so overwhelmingly beautiful

Hannah,

This poem is truely beautiful, I absolutely adore each and every verse. I read it more than once because I wanted to make sure that I caught every image and the more I read it, the more I grew to love it.

You start off with something that instantly made me wonder: moon's tears. What are they like? Are they supposed to be the opposite of the sun's smiles (its sunshine)? I had a feeling that it was like rain, but more precious and delicate because rain is given by nature, while tears usually come from persons. So that personification was very enjoyed.
Furthermore, the sound and feeling of "trickle" is mesmorizing to me because it adds a little to that rainy kinda feeling.

You mention "her" only once, without detailed information and yet I did not think that was bad, it felt as though we do not really need to know as much about her or lets rather say by describing what happens around her, we get to know her too.

"sparkling hope" reminded me of that champagne you mentioned at the beginning once more, which I thought completed the poem and gave it a round kind of end. Almost as though she was trying to lighten the mood by drinking, yet she does not quite understand how it works.

Love it

Excellent Hannah!!!

The moon's tears
trickle along the rim
of her empty
champagne glass,

^ nice personification, I also like the "vividness" that I get from this.

I enjoyed the poem but to be honest the middle section at least to me - feels like it needs something else to tie it up hmm, or may be not tied it up but when I read it the word broadcasting felt awkward and also the part about alien territories or may be it needs a comma after melancholy?

"broadcasting melancholy
lullabies betwixt alien
territories -"

I am not sure but something sounds odd in that middle section perhaps I am not reading it correctly. Am I supposed to take the word broadcasting as verb or as a noun?

I mean I am taking it as verb... but that's where my confusion arises.

So the lullabies are broadcasting melancholy between alien territories... or the moon is broadcasting melancholy? and there are some lullabies between alien territories.

but I feel like you are saying:

broadcasting melancholy,
lullabies betwixt alien
territories -

^^ that the lullabies are broadcasting the melancholy, I don't know how to explain myself :/

Overall, the scenario that I got was that there was someone sad, looking at the empty glass. Perhaps waiting for a date? and the date didn't show up, but the moon hopes the date will still continue as it looks at the champagne.... And the middle section, prompts me to think that perhaps the moon was listening to the radio lol. I can run my imagination.

Aside from my confusion, I like the poem.