Comments : Tango

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    It's such a joy to read your writing Colm, I don't know if I've said that before but I always look forward to it and always feel refreshed after reading! :]

    I loved the title of tango, because every single line of this poem read to me with vivaciousness, just as you describe this intimate dance between you and your partner. I loved all the allusions... to the Iguazu Falls, Patagonian bush fire, Buenos Aires- it brightens the poem so much to actually include city names and places specifically.

    Just like with Mel's piece from the same challenge, I found so much passion in this! The diction is purposeful and I feel every word was chosen with fire and color to embrace the reader.

    "Again, I fence with the notion
    of clasping you in my arms before the cerise dawn,
    and swirl with you amongst lovers in the street
    to the beat of Buenos Aires"

    - A city that has a beat? That's awesome! It makes me excited and dream to go and do this someday with my love, dance until morning among a whole crowd of people and have every person moving be the beat to our dance.

    I was so captivated by that last line- especially the black eyes, which I don't hear very often. I've heard and used before obsidian eyes but never straight on black. It definitely for me creates that wonder and mystique about what's behind there.

    That last line is so memorable- and filled with a bond you have with this person! It actually reminded me of Joshua's Bennett's love poem "Balaenoptera" where he writes near the end: "Hoping that I could literally steal a glance,
    Download it onto my retinas and replay the moment our eyes first played freeze tag."

    I don't know, it just reminded me of this moment, that stare and spectrum as you said that you want to hold forever.

    Incredible! Hope you're doing good, thanks for sharing!

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Never have I heard of the Iguazu falls so it was definitely a nice change. I did find it to be perfect with your description, they are quite lively and there are several waterfalls in one. Kind of does give you that feel of the tango.

    I thought it was great that you stayed within South America and spoke of certain places around the continent. I do wonder why you chose these special places, and not any other place in the world. Perhaps they are places you've been? I do think they worked quite well though when comparing to love.

    Thought you did quite a good job with this, but in looking at your other recent pieces I for some reason can't put this at the top of my list. I do love how you went about this challenge though, definitely unique. :) The tango is definitely portrayed well.

  • 11 years ago

    by Britt

    "Because I tend to tip-toe along stepping stones"

    I am stuck on this piece in the entire poem. I have this thing with tip-toeing, I don't really know why... it's a sensual thing to me for whatever weird reason in my head. I love that you added it here. It may seem insignificant to the rest of the readers, but it held a lot of heart for me. Stepping stones aren't meant for tip-toeing, but you're cautious and careful, and you think before acting. That one line said a LOT to me.

    This, to me, was about you being afraid to chase a lover. You watch her, she excites you (not like that, perv) and you're curious about her. She is obviously unique and has a way about her no other woman that caught your eye has. But you're careful to chase.. and instead day-dream about the what ifs and possibilities.

    The more I read this, the more I really do like it. If I remember right you didn't care for this poem, I can't remember which one we decided wasn't your best (lol) but looking into the storyline more I'm really loving this piece.

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "I love this. The whole poem leaves me with such a content and serene feeling that I can't help but want to dance after reading, and take others with me. Dance, like music. has a way of healing us and the author allows that feeling to be felt so effortlessly here, it's almost like nothing else matters except this specific dance that the author later mentions.I adore the random, several references throughout the poem as I believe it creates more empathy and more understanding. The imagery alone is beautiful and that's before we even get to the content or emotions, Simply, beautiful. "

  • 11 years ago

    by Britt

    Judge comment:

    This poem took me on a journey I've never expected nor seen on PnQ before and it was an absolute delight. The places mentioned are places I've never heard of before, so it was a treat to learn something on top of enjoy this poem full of beautiful images. "Because I tend to tip-toe along stepping stones
    to starve the Patagonian bush fire"

    This part of the poem has me in a trance.. so soft and beautiful, yet strong and a hint of sensual. This is really a unique and interesting piece.. ABSOLUTELY love it!