Gone Long Ago

Hanging by a thread,
I slowly float over life.
I already know what it feels like to be dead,
Already picked up that knife.

I'm balancing not so easily,
Ready to fall over at any given moment.
It's kind of funny really,
How much time thinking I have spent.

Emotionally I'm not here anymore,
I was gone a long time ago.
All the things I used to live for,
Have disappeared ever so slow.

I'm stuck in this pattern,
Of always wanting to not be here.
Maybe it's my turn,
For me to evaporate into thin air.