Back To Life

by Baby Rainbow   May 18, 2013


I used to wish you back to life so I could be with you,
to have you back right by my side as if you were never
gone. I used to wish you back to life because I missed
your love so much. I longed to hear your voice again
and longed to feel your touch.

But since you left, my heart grew weak and my
insecurities grew stronger. The fears, the doubts,
and everything in-between,
have imprisoned my kindness to myself.

I no longer wish you back to life because I fear
the look inside your eyes when disappointment
washes over your face. I doubt the love you used to have
for the little girl I used to be, and I see the shame that
you will have for the person I became.

If only my apologies could be enough
to show how sorry I truly am. From the
moment I was born, all you ever wanted was to feel so proud
of me. But I know that all my life, I have turned that pride
into shame with every time I let you down.

And I used to wish you back to life
because I could not live without you.
But then one day I realized maybe
God knew the painful truth;

that I would never be good enough for you
and wouldn't deserve to live with you here by my side.

Saffie
22

28/4/13

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I had a comment typed for this the other day...and then my power went out and I was asdlfkasjdflkjwd! using all kinds of bad words at the time. :P So, here I am once again, which isn't a bad thing since I absolutely love this poem.

    I can relate to it, because I used to feel like this and sometimes still do when I'm having a really bad day. I used to pray for my Mom to come back to life every single day when I was little.

    You wished for this person, which I'm assuming is one of your parents... father/mother I'm not sure...or it could even be a close friend who you considered family. Someone that you obviously wanted to make sure they were proud of you. But as you progress, you made mistakes (as everyone does) and seen it as failure, as shame...and you are afraid that they feel ashamed to call you their daughter/friend. You felt unworthy of their love.

    The ending truly broke my heart because you feel that way. I'm sure whoever you are writing this for... is looking down upon you smiling at how much you have accomplished and how PROUD they are of you! They may not be here to tell you, but just have faith that they are. You will meet them again someday in the future and I'm sure they will shower you with praises of what a wonderful person you are and how proud they are for you being YOU!

    I mean, look how much you have accomplished... you have written not one, but TWO poetry books! as well as plenty of other accomplishments in your life. You care sooo much about other people as well as animals! You are the best, never let anyone else tell you different!

    But like I said, I can relate to this and it tore me to pieces reading it the first time and this second time is just... I don't even know the words to describe how I feel right now.

    HUGS! <3

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