Comments : Demons Of My Mind

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    First stanza: You are being tormented by these demons constantly... can't sleep because of nightmares and can't be awake because of reality.

    I really like the use of 'petrol' instead of gasoline, just because it's different, I guess.

    Second stanza: You plead for peace, just for a moment of quietness to be able to live your life without harassment by these demons... but they like to toy with you and play games, a game of hide and seek.

    Third stanza: You play the game by counting to 10, but you don't open your eyes because you know they are still there, waiting to begin their torture all over again.

    Fourth stanza: You're tired... even death would satisfy you if only it would mean the ending of this chaotic torture of them constantly being there, constantly playing games and echoing in your head.

    Nice write, Saffie!

  • 11 years ago

    by Ares

    A beautiful and dark write! It brought me back to my younger days actually; a lot of memories. Poems like these do not get enough credit and this one deserves all the credit in the world! Fantastic choice of words, amazingly crafted lines and solid stanzas. 5/5 !

    Ares.

  • 11 years ago

    by Edward Oropeza

    Yeah great Saffie, the first phrase are conjunctive to each other, demon uses fire, you're timing to petrol is relevant.
    the Second phrase, it's defining how the subject is playing to make this piece comes into play. The third, is how the latter is toss to make the conclusion, that the event is "play", i am surprised about the structure of this piece, it looks like 5,4,3,6 stanza. Its great Saffie, you make me think while reaqding this..good job