I Thought

I thought the waves of pleasurable love had washed to a different ocean
Leaving me bone dry and to swim amongst the dust of loves past
Guiding me to a sunless day, a moonless night, hopeless,
Breathing sulfur tainted air against my arms.
I thought my dreams had been set ablaze
After a day of playing with a lighter
Smiling serenely at the orange flames
The heat the only thing pulling me under.
I thought my heart had been stored away in a cement box
Chained beyond any hopes of opening
Covered in numerous locks
Buried six feet under the Earth's cold dirt joyfully.
I thought it was silent as the blinking of an eye
Forced down as to not rip the seams holding it together
Begging for it to be silent again
Pleading for it to rest in its coffin forevermore.
Defiant as ever, it echoes an uneasy beat
From within the confines of its box veiled by black roses
I fall upon my knees, digging it up in defeat
Cursing the irony that lies in each broken lock, each broken promise.
I thought I was to wander my road alone
Shrouded in the moonless night,
Chin tilted up in defiance at the gravel road
Eyes closed to any penetrating, tempting light.

I thought I was done with feeling uncertain, I willed the insecurity to go,
But my heart beats in shadows.