Wow, what stood out for me especially was "elbowroom", I love when a specific is given like that and not just saying space or something. The opening line makes me think there is a bitter tone almost, that being in those sheets constantly was like being imprisoned in the end, maybe not being in the beginning. But I read it as almost a negative connotation, or at least a very alive love slowly dying out, or leaving you.

I loved the "foggy murmurs" and how you tied in blue print. It actually reminded me of the scene in Titanic with Jack and Rose in the carriage, how alone and completely focused on each other they are....

That last stanza is heart-breaking. You expressed this pain in such a unique way, like now you are looking back, these memories keep colliding, and this home no longer has a home or is a home to you. "Wine weeped from the faucet of my soul" - such a strong image there! I love how you expressed this so tastefully.... it reminds me of a couple always having a ritual of drinking wine every night before they go to bed, but now you only drink it alone, and your tears are this.

Beautifully written write, I liked the simplicity too of your three-lined stanzas and how you broke them up. Have a great day :]

The last verse is my favourite! Very deep amazing poem! Congratulations!

The last verse is my favourite! Very deep amazing poem! Congratulations!

Hannah, i love such short poems with deep meaning..
I love 2nd and 3rd stanza..

Nice flow... the one i loved was the last stanza i REALLY love the way you painted the whole poem but the last stanza was my absolute favorite since when i was younger i used to see my older brother and mother drink wine when eating supper so i know how it looks and it's wonderful the poem i hope this poem wins as well! :) 5/5

Ashlin

Wonderful!! I think Poet on the Piano said it all. the 1st and 2nd lines of the 3rd stanza are my favorite. Being slaves to our sheets, writing as I understand revealed how deep in writing the author is, especially poetry.
Stellar as always! I love this.

Oh Hannah, this poem is so powerful and as cliché as this sounds, it is so poetic!

Your language choice throughout is so very unique and yet still captures such vivid scenes.

The feeling in the first stanza is so trapped and tense, it really creates the idea of being imprisoned for sure and like you cannot even breathe in the space you are in. This straight away sets the mood of the poem.

Then you go onto mention the title which I think is so creative and I like the idea of blue prints because they are something that is a rough draft, perhaps the first of how it is meant to be, but we all know plans sometimes do not work. I also like how you put ownership into it, like perhaps you thought this would be a chance at hope, a new start or a happy ending to claim what is around you and make it a happy place.

Your ending is so touching, honestly quite tear-jerking. To think of your soul having its own little tap of tears and the wine which can clearly represent the loneliness you feel and have the wine as your company to get through the pain. The wording of "homeless home" is so so powerful on its own, I feel it deserves a whole poem of its own!

Excellent poem Hannah, very well put together.

I am in awe of this poem and I wish to the heavens that I wrote myself, because it is that good!

Some good old, American tradition of writing in this poem, which I adore and love so much. Sensual, painful and a brilliant display of words. A clear 5 from me!

Ares.

Hannah,
I loved the title! That really struck me first off and drew me in, and then how the poem tied in with it...Life is a blue print, it's already written for us, and what we do with it is how it becomes for us...(if that makes sense)...

What really hit me in this poem is how we are always searching for something more than what we have, how we live somewhere that doesn't feel like home. We are trapped in what we have and don't see what that is.

I know I'm rambling and I'm not actually making sense, but I loved this...that's it really.

So smooth and thought provoking

Splendidly Written, Simply Wonderful Hannah!!!

This poem is finely honed and so original there is no need of a blue print ... awesome

Great scattering of alliteration. I think you're one of some poets on this site who uses metaphor creatively and uniquely. It's refreshing reading through your works and each poem that you submit seem to have been cut from a different fabric from the previous one. It's just that some writers have their (let's say) own "signature". I'll admit I have used certain metaphors, imagery, symbols etc., a time or two in different poems. Perhaps because they're personal, they mean something to me. But it does get old, and as writers, I think we all strive to find new things, create new metaphors and such. That's why I find your style, your writing (in its entirety) inspiring and as I've said, refreshing. I hope you continue writing. Also, a little nitpicking here: blueprint--one word?

Judge comments:

The first stanza oozes sensuality and sexiness. Tousled is a word that instantly makes me think of between-the-sheets action lol. I love the use of elbowroom here in the poem as well, I felt it was an interesting way she wrote it but also very creative and fun. It's a great way to describe.. that act. The second stanza reminded of the scene from Titanic in the car... with the handprint. I love the way she penned this. The ending was the only part I took issue with.. I wasn't fond of the "faucet of my soul".. I liked the faucet metaphor but not so fond of the soul. With how creative this piece was I felt that was on the cliche side. I really adore the sandpaper idea as well, such a contrast to the rest of the poem.