Apartheid

[Judging comment from week of 6/10/13]:

What I find so intriguing in your poetry, is that it is diverse and is not just molded by a few concepts or categories... you always bring something new to the table that can be taken in many variant ways. Just from the title alone, I thought this would be about segregation, or you somehow falling victim to discrimination amongst the society.

I definitely got the impression, not sure if I am anywhere near what you intended, in the first stanza that this sheet of paper is what you have been bound to. Immediately it made me think of the setting of Les Miserables where Jean is a slave, having his paper to forever remind himself and the whole world of his social status. The amount of emotion that just bounds out of this stanza is incredible. It's uncensored, just flowing raw from the heart. I cannot imagine the fiery emotion I would have if I was enslaved and lived in that era where it was so widely accepted. I think it could take a whole lifetime to forgive...

You write of such anger, frustration, and sympathy for this character, it just nudges my heart to want to do something. The examples you give of what action you want to take really set this poem on fire, in a way that I feel your vengeance mounting and mounting, all you want to see is justice...."the ones that never held more than one ego through mouths and speeches and graffiti"- this line felt so universal, like you were directing it widely to Europe, but that all the leaders who only talked the talk only cared about their ratings...not about the people.

My heart tore apart at the fourth line. I literally feel like this is a diary entry or something, it's that powerful and I feel like I'm not just sitting here reading this, I'm watching your pain, the way they tried to brainwash you into believing inferiority is all you are made of.

"It's no wonder I refuse to call this place my homeland,
because I've got no country to fight for, only a place
to fight against."
- You hold such conviction and your word choice is cleverly thought out. You know what to believe in and what not to. You are positive of this for this country has never given back to you life or a reason to call it anything close to home. Powerful words here.

I SAW your journey through this write, and it was not just a poem to me. It is much more than a writing, it is the blood and spirit of everything you made this character to be and everything they already remained. That last stanza really illustrates the heart-breaking truth that some will never accept another's criticism, and that you have now been on this side of hopelessness and shame, like another level you've sunk down to, and it's hard to get back up.

Such a strong, well-thought out write that was attentive to not just creating a character, but a story that needs to be heard. Well done!

Judging comment:

A very heartfelt and "real" feeling piece of poetry. The writer laid her feelings out on the line, took a chance, and succeeded. She talks of a place I don't know, but don't have to... the pictures are painted so specifically. Feelings of not fitting in, not feeling like it's home even though it's where you reside. That feeling of not fitting in and wanting to fix things for yourself... something I think all of us experience and go through. I can't go into detail how it makes me feel... words don't explain. Perfect title.. perfectly written... just plain love!!

This a violation of women rights when women and girls sold into the prostitution for human greed and the kind of reasons that used to justify this practice should no longer than be tolerated.

This is such a powerful write and I agree with Britt's thoughts about this being centered around servants... I definitely feel the despair and the way you express your shame... I think you do stand out with your words, especially with the repetition of "I want", it's like this inner war between yourself of rage at the country as a whole who never cared to imprison others, only striving toward power. I feel this also speaks about how time has passed, you have no reason to take pride in the country, and similarly, how the country has molded you into believing these concepts of who's superior in society and who is not are the foundations of who we are.

Each line had such purpose that really reached out to me and I'm very happy this won! Congratulations!!!

Congrats on your win! :D