Seasonal Change

First stanza: I love how you incorporated nature in this piece. The simile for their eyes is beautiful, how they droop, you can always tell when someone is sad, their eyes tell it all. You felt captured by their sadness, maybe even a little responsible. They were once vibrant and colorful ... but now you can see the change. Just like autumn quickly changing to winter.

Second stanza: Very nice transition from hostage to being freed... now everything is reflected by how they once treated you.

Third stanza: I love how you used "display" ...it reminds me how in fall people always decorate their yards/houses with all those colorful props, like pumpkins and scarecrows, hay etc... and I always love them so that's what this reminded me of.

Looks/actions can be deceiving... someone can look so sweet and can act like they are the greatest person alive... but deep down when you truly get to know them, their rot seeps through. Kind of reminds me of a pumpkin like I mentioned... they can look pretty on the outside but as soon as you pull that top off after a few weeks, it's disgusting.

Ending: The good, loving times still stick with you and you can't seem to get past them.

Very emotional write, Chelsey. Sometimes no matter how bad someone treats us, we seem to always recall the good times... the times they made us feel special, but sometimes we can let that fool us into thinking they are a good person when in reality they're not.

Your opening stanza is a woooow!!!!
And the words you used to portray your emotions were really heart felt.
Great job :)

Dark leaves drooped like your brown eyes and
I was hostage to their sadness. You were the
season of fall; vibrant colors, the smell of change.
Yet, just like October, I watched you turn into a
shade of release.

- excellent opening Chels, comparing someone to a season, and the power of eyes and how they can draw you in before you even consider looking at anything else. I also like how you mention the motions of the fall as to their character and then leave this release as the last word, it is like a small cliff hanger until the next stanza.

You let me go and now...
Now anything in late months reflect
the treatment you gave me.

- very creative way to carry on to the next stanza. I really liked that. I also think it is filled with sadness that not only did you lose them, but you lost any joy you may have found in this season because it will all remind you of this person and how they let you go.

Maybe I shouldn't have fallen for your display.
Perhaps I should have dug deeper than the
dry, yellow grass you once fooled me as green.
I should have seen you rotting into something
I didn't want. Something I wouldn't be attracted to.

- this was what I was thinking about at the beginning when you mentioned the eyes. They can be so powerful and deceiving sometimes that we fail to see anything else around, we could never imagine that innocent look ever holding anything than beauty and truth. It was good that you still used the season and the grass and fall colours to describe your message here.

I just can't get past the beginning...
When your heart was full of life for me.

- I like the deep thinking here - like you are trying to understand how someone could love you s much but then just as quick as the seasons change, they can throw you away.

I just can't get past this difference...
You were once beautiful to me

- I felt this ending very powerful because to see something as not very beautiful anymore shows just how much pain they have caused you. IT sums up the change that happens in the poem, from the start and now at the end. It is the opposite image of this person and you have helped us see that in our mind.

I liked the story and loved the creativity of it.

I loved the usage of nature in this piece, and I take the seasons as metaphors for emotions, how they change so easy...I did think that there were some really great moments in this poem,

Perhaps I should have dug deeper than the
dry, yellow grass you once fooled me as green.

^^Here, you took something simple, and made it so amazingly captivating...(does that make sense?), because what we see on the outside, isn't what is inside sometimes and we don't search deep enough, we get fooled too easy, I can understand that...

and this ending....!

I just can't get past this difference...
You were once beautiful to me.

^^That is beautiful, but really sad...because, things do change and we see things differently, not always for the best reasons, not always for for the better...

Chelsey, this poem, I mean, you know how amazing you are, and how you're writing just goes somewhere else, its in another universe, because it is just so good...and you added the nature and made it beautiful, but it made it emotional, the sadness, that is evident, with the nature, it is just an amazing connection, like...this piece,

I'm rambling, but you know...I loved this and just...