Charlotte's Web

by Jenni Marie   Jun 5, 2013


I loved you once, and I love you still. That doesn't mean I trust you, or that I respect you, or that I even like you. It certainly doesn't mean you can control me, try as you might. Keep trying, I don't mind. I laugh at your pitiful attempts. You succeeded once...never again. Sure, I love you. I also despise you. I laugh at your weak attempts to keep me under your thumb. I haven't been there for a long time, didn't you know? Keep weaving your stories and spraying your excuses. All I do is roll my eyes at them, I certainly don't believe them. Oh, sorry, was I meant to? I guess I'm no longer under your spell. So continue weaving your words like the most elegant spell-crafter, it matters not. Because I see the real you, and sooner or later, so will others. You can only hide your real personality for so long.

You were never good at acting, and you will never receive a standing ovation. Do you know what that means, honey? It means your mask is slipping and people are starting to see you for who you really are. The person I dealt with silently for years on end, that true nature of yours that you kept hidden from all except I. Wasn't I lucky to see that? No, I wasn't lucky, I was unfortunate. Unfortunate because I carelessly walked into your tangled web and I couldn't claw my way back out. I became stuck like a fly in a spider's web. Only I realised recently, I don't want to die. So I clawed my way free even though it meant acknowledging the pain and wounds as I did so, instead of giving up and waiting for you to devour me.

And I succeeded. It was tiring, it was long, it was difficult. It was the most painful journey I ever set out on. But I made it to the finish line, even with the scratches and cuts. I'll admit, I couldn't escape from the internal wounds as I scrambled my way free of your web, and I'll admit the emotional scars cause more agony than any of the physical ones ever could. But you didn't win. I'll come out of this alive, even if I bare scars forever more. I'll get my boy back, even if I have to fight you tooth and nail. I'll succeed in my goals and be happy, even if I have to fight constantly, every second of every day. But more than anything else, I repeat: I'll get my boy back. You will never keep him from me, no matter how hard you try.

You didn't win. You never will.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I'm sorry it took me a long time to leave a comment, to be honest, I thought I had when I rated it but I must have been mistaken.

    Anyway, I'm here now and well, this piece is really powerful, the strength in these lines is very evident and it speaks volumes about you, and your strength, I loved the metaphors and the power behind each sentence, and the ending, simple but sooo powerful and shows how tough you are...

    Hugs and love xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    You truly have a lot of strength in your voice here, I hope you continue to believe in yourself and how capable you are of being happy and overcoming all of this. The metaphor couldn't have been more perfect, it did seem as though he had you caught in a web, & you became an innocent victim to his lies. I'm glad that you are fighting for what you want, because you deserve it. It's wonderful that his true colors are showing, it shows you what kind of person he truly is and how much he just isn't worth it. Just keep fighting for what you deserve and you will get it :) Much love as always.

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Holy Crap. This poem is so much more than a poem. I can see you saying these words, giving testimony to them, and promising that they are true and will remain true. Each stanza had me hooked and I love how you give two hundred percent when writing...you hold nothing back and it just gives me chills reading your story not just of physical pain but of emotional pain, especially when you mentioned your son. I know he is your whole life and you dedicate everything to him and I know him being taken away in any aspect is NOT an option. Ever.

    I loved your whole metaphor in this piece! Especially how your title perfectly tied in... this part made me just want to give a shout of victory or something!!

    "Unfortunate because I carelessly walked into your tangled web and I couldn't claw my way back out. I became stuck like a fly in a spider's web. Only I realised recently, I don't want to die. So I clawed my way free even though it meant acknowledging the pain and wounds as I did so, instead of giving up and waiting for you to devour me."

    - Do you know how much self-understanding that takes and inner strength to acknowledge the pain and wounds? I know as many of us have written, we hide it or say we aren't afflicted/affected, but to move ahead and so to speak, claw our way out, we have to come to terms and realize this did happen to us, these wounds are real....but still having those wounds isn't greater than the reality that you will be out of his hands, out of his web of lies.

    Brilliant write, so proud of you! Keep fighting always <3

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