Gone

As I silently let my last goodbye to her fall from my lips, I die a little inside.

"I didn't mean it!" I want to shout.
"I'll do anything! I just wanted you to hurt like I was hurting!"

My mind was screaming at me to beg and apologize and reach out for her to stop her

...but I didn't.

My mouth remained shut and my arms down by my sides. She blinks away tears in realization and slowly nods her head at me before, in a daze, heading towards the door.

She puts her hand on the knob and then stops. With a turn of her head, she gives me one last glance.

"You still have one more chance right now, you idiot!" my thoughts rage out at me. Yet, I remain motionless.

I could tell she's trying to be strong by the way her chin is wobbling, but she's determined to not let any sound escape her lips.

Those lips that I've always loved so much and could bet my life on the fact that they were the sweetest taste of honey imaginable. Those lips brokenly smiled at me before disappearing altogether, along with the girl I've just let go of.

My chest feels heavy and I rush to the windows so I can still see as much of her as possible before she's gone. I open the blinds and am greeted with the sight of her sad, retreating figure, the streetlights her only source of guidance. The wind is blowing around her gorgeous long locks that I always loved to play with, and she wraps her jacket tighter against her body.

My hand reaches out as if to grab her and pull her into my chest, hug her tight, whisper sweet nothings into her ear and have her stay with me forever. But I'm only met with the glass pane.

"Don't go," I manage to croak out. But she doesn't hear.
My fingers curl into a soft fist and I realize that I'm the one that let her go. I have no right to complain.