Brazilian Secrets

This is truly poetic in every sense of the word.

[Judging comment from week of 6/10/13]:

This piece was eloquent and so expressive of who I believe to be a broken woman....throughout this poem I did see this woman as someone who knew the loveliness of life, but who has almost been betrayed by it in a way. She has somehow become weak, vulnerable, no longer trusting herself but able to be swayed and pushed around.

I LOVED the imagery you made relatable to this woman:
"where abandoned pennies drift atop, likewise,
she's spent being unspent."
- It puts that tiredness of living into clarity, like there is no denying she is at her end of being able to handle this.

The second stanza had me wondering what happened in a year to make her fight for her sanity, I really thought that was cunning how you wrote that, making it provoking but not giving the whole story, just enough so we know she is fighting and never had to before....this was a beautiful, soft image you gave:

"where she sat braiding her hair
with black bird fathers and running
with deer in the wild,
free"

- definitely gives a great contrast.

You also brought Mother Earth into this which I thought was something very surprising...."purging" is such a coarse word in my mind, and you give me clues into Earth's own reasoning, I'm not sure if it's cleansing or just kind of watching as the woman almost becomes like a child again, too weak to do much of anything.

This line caught my breath and left me with that summation of what has become of you, "it's been years since I've whistled and lived, instead of crying." I will not be the first one to say I don't think crying is bad or should be looked down upon necessarily, it helps us heal and everyone needs to at some point or situation in their life, it sometimes makes our heads and hearts clearer....however, at the end, I felt like you have given up on the idea of living, moving on, so you resort to staying stuck in time and letting tears fall, not picking yourself back up.

Emotional write, fantastic work!

Judging comment:

"I've found what I love about judging is that I often come across a poet who I haven't seen before and immediately fall in love and wonder WHY I haven't read their work before. This was one of those times. This poem blew me away and I've found myself coming back to it time and time again.
I see this poem as being about depression and self harm? And usually if I interpreted a poem this way I never even dream of choosing it for the weekly contest because of the controversy surrounding both issues and the small chance someone may decide to follow these paths themselves. Upon reading this however I found this poem doesn't glorify either illness but instead speaks about the stark reality of both and in a marvellously poetic way.
"where abandoned
pennies drift atop, likewise,
she's spent being unspent."
I have been sat here for several minutes trying to find a way to articulate what these lines do to me, emotionally. And after struggling to find the words all I can come up with is thus: Quite simply, they kill me. It makes me think that she has so much potential trapped within her, that is there but can't find its way out. That she has so much to offer and give yet the depression clings to her making her think it is non existent.

"my calloused hands
have grasped paintbrushes in place
of knives,"

Another part that killed me emotionally. It brings the reality of self harm to the reader with such an impact-that you have become your own canvas, that your paintings are now carved upon yourself instead of on paper.

I can't get over this poem. The starkness and the emotion is incredible and I applaud the author for managing to write about two illnesses that have such negative attitudes towards them by society in such a moving, emotional, poetic and beautiful way. Well done. "

First stanza: Denial can suffocate you, you can deny that things are okay but in the end, it will crack you open and ooze out the truth. I love how you captured that with the cracks in the sidewalk. The penny metaphor was absolutely amazing! I love "she's spent being unspent" ... meaning that she is so tired of being forgotten.

Second stanza: The past year her sanity has been pushed to the extreme, she has lost almost every ounce of creativity because she's been so stressed...she's lost herself...she used to carelessly braid her hair and run wild but now she feels caged. I absolutely love the braiding hair with black bird feathers and running with deer metaphor, they are brilliant.. probably my favorite part of this whole piece!

Third stanza: The jungle became a desert, no longer nourished with love/freedom. I love the mention of the tumbleweeds! She feels weak and unable to control what is happening around her...she's so desperate to be able to thrive again.

"Hopelessly carving into her
last-standing and favorite oak:"

-I really love how you kept this by itself instead of pairing it with the last stanza... it stood out so much and is such a key part to this poem. It shows how desperate she is to feel anything, that she will carve into something she cherishes. I see this as a metaphor for self-harm... that the oak tree is her canvas.

Ending: It's been too long since you've been able to feel creative with a paint brush instead of a knife... depression has become your routine. :(

Like I said Crystal, I completely love this piece. The imagery and metaphors are absolutely outstanding and I really hope it wins the front page. <3

This hit me right in the core, Crystal...and I've been trying to find the words to comment since reading this early this morning, you always pen such amazing writes, but this piece, it was just so hard hitting in the chest you know.

Harboring denial in every crevice
of her skin, similar to weeds seeping
through the cracks of an unwalked
side street- where abandoned
pennies drift atop, likewise,
she's spent being unspent.

^^ I immediately felt personally connected to the words, and the denial that anything is wrong, keeping it to yourself but wanting to find some release, some end to the troubles.

The second stanza, there was some amazing imagery in the lines, the image of someone braiding their dark hair, and all the nature tones there, I really liked that...and the hope of freedom, of being themselves.

And the imagery carried into the third stanza, it became darker and more desperate, and the wording created that tone.

Hopelessly carving into her
last-standing and favorite oak:

^^This hit me on a personal level, with regards to being at the last chance, that last hope, that I try and cling to, but still self destruct...and you penned that beautifully, yet with emotion.

That ending, OMG, how you want to go back to how it was before, and I get that, I've been looking at photo's of myself when I was 12/13, just before things changed, it is the last time I remember before I got caught in this spiral, in this world, I remember being so different back then, and it really struck a chord with me...

I think that this is one of my favourites from you, it just really hit me, but not just personally, you know, the words were very real here and the emotion as well, it was penned from the heart I feel.

xx