Rest in Peace, Pepe

The one person in that family who loved me
Made me feel wanted, like I was worthy of someone's smile.
I remember when I sat on your lap, truly happy
The kisses you left on my forehead ringing of your care; your arms winding around me for such a long while.
I miss you so, so much
Why did the angels take you away?
I miss your soothing touch
The way you protected me from the harsh things they used to say.
Pepe, why did you drink so often?
Were you that upset that being drunk was the only escape you had?
You told me I was the most beautiful of them all,
I haven't felt that way since you died, forever silently sad.
When I saw you in that hospital bed, they told me you had booboos in your stomach
The cancer was sucking the life out of you,
The bruises, the pain obvious on your face,
The smile you arranged your lips into
As I ran to you, the last time I'd get to tell you
That I love you, that I never want to see you leave...
The phone call came three days later, I hoped for good news
That you were home in our chair, waiting for me.
They said you died, Pepe, that you passed in your sleep,
The tears streamed down my face in endless waves
Daddy knelt in front of me and wrapped me in his arms tightly
But I yearned for the strong arms of my grandfather, feeling his prickly chin on my forehead.
The day of the wake came, my tears still flowing soundlessly
Mommy didn't care as usual, her own father's death merely unfortunate
I walked to your coffin, Pepe, I prayed for the very first and last time that day
Begging for the God you so loved to keep you safe for me until I see you again.
They had to drag me out of the funeral home,
I screamed for you, Pepe, I told the angels to take me instead
They didn't listen and for days after I wept the way only a little girl who lost her best friend does
To this day I whisper a prayer for you, Pepe, I want you to rest
In peace. My home, always and forever my home.

*in memory of my grandfather, I love you Pepe*