Comanche

This is very sad, and it really can be interpreted in a few ways. The thing I love most about the set up of the poem is, the winter line. This person left their home and in it, left an imprint of sad feelings. I do incorporate winter to sad feelings. I love the double perspective of the poem, you have the guy who left to find his own path and the women who thinks she is the one to blame. The ending I like, it seems like there is a final goodbye before each of them leave. The message is good but to use native Americans is unique. Love this!

Didn't know the tribe of Comanche at all, so this was very neat how you incorporated this into the poem!

I felt heart and soul in this piece, pride, and ancestry that leaves imprints upon the land and upon the people. I really like how you formatted this piece, it flowed beautifully and kind of reminds me of a delicate state of mind this woman is in, very gently and lovingly calling and praying for this love.

The imagery here is outstanding and sets the mood completely...even with a few lines I just was naturally put into this setting. The opening stanza with the internal frost made me think her heart was broken or a warrior gave up his courage and left the tribe to face war, disease, struggles....

there is such a pure innocence in the second stanza of that smoke signal, and almost it being a companion, a guardian to send her wishes from the heart.

The ending was definitely heartbroken, with the
"Dreams go uncatched
and feathers
unweaved, while
arrowheads sharpen
themselves against
neglected bones-"

- you brought alive the spirit of this tribe, the color in dreams they have and make my heart want to hold this woman.

I'm not entirely sure what the "final voyage" at the end was. Maybe she is dying from a broken heart or age, as she's lived so long without a love. Maybe she is the last one remaining in the village, or she has survived in this sole teepee alone for years and she must move ahead. This final journey seems like she is going into the wild, without a destination, just hoping someone will restore her spirit.

Beautifully written Hannah, I enjoyed reading this so much and it was unique, not something I'd ever come across before! Take care =)