Gaunt

by Poet on the Piano   Jun 9, 2013


A maroon sweater clings to me, but my legs
stick out, not like twigs, like passing lanes
impregnated with abandonment.
I bring my shorts closer against my thigh,
drawing the fabric in,
pretending I'm a moth caught between curtains
pressing tighter
tighter and
tighter.

But I can't become skinnier
for an unforeseen storm billows around me,
blowdrying my skin to make it puffy and
unwanted.

I'm holding back my breath.

The windows are closed, you reassure me,
your voice strained from staying at the
top of the staircase-

far, far away.

In an effort to remain cold and uncaring,
I chew a piece of sweet mint gum, killing it
with my sharp yet silent words
until all the flavor has been
extracted;
but your tracks are still here,
for mint was always a flavor we read about
in memoirs and wrote about in our secret
diaries, with dusty hands because we
liked how we could almost disappear.

Two houses.
We're not in the same room,
you're not looking down on me
and we just can't seem to tell the distance,
for there is nothing that connects us back
to the starting line of our existence.

[This place is too wide]

I need to be more thin
so you can stop trying to sneak in the places
I carelessly give myself away to.

-
Written 6/08 @ 7:17 pm

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    "I too originally thought this was about an eating disorder to begin with and was expecting the poem to lead down such a dark path because of the sombre tone immediately created within the first verse. I was surprised, then, as I read further on and realised that this was not about an eating disorder but perhaps the distance between two people that were once incredibly close, I ended up thinking it was about a couple that have since gone their separate ways.

    I was fond of the sudden transitions in each following verse, from having the reader think this will be about an eating disorder, to the verse of chewing gum (Again tying in with initial thoughts as gum is used by many anorexia/bulimia etc sufferers as a way to curb hunger), and then mentioning the two houses.

    I thought the ending was perfect. Tying once more with the previous lines ("I need to be more thin") and adding such a bittersweet tone to the melancholy that has been present throughout by mentioning this other person sneaking in. I see it as this person is constantly sneaking under the author's defences and guards?
    The metaphors and imagery in this are what really blew me away, elegantly penned."

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I love the twist in this poem, how it leads you one way and then the ending is just like BAM, it turns into a totally different ending than the reader expected. Those are always the best pieces, it just totally wows us.

    This whole piece is jammed with wonderful metaphors/similes and imagery galore. My favorite is the first stanza and then the stanza talking about the gum...truly amazing!!!

    I'm pretty sure this piece is about the distance between two (ex?) lovers...how they live apart, how they are distant they are with feelings/communication... how the space between them is just air... and how you wish to skinny 'yourself' so you'll be closer together.

    Added to my favorites and nominated! :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Well crap...How am I supposed to fricken comment on this piece!!?!?!?!? really...I started to think Oh Maryanne, I'm going to have to give you the "you don't have to be skinny to be beautiful" speech, but at the end, that is NOT what this piece is about...though you do an amazing job at making your readers think that..

    I LOVED that metaphor and how you kind of tricked me. Your ending stanza just killed it!\

    I love your writing so so much...you always have a way of twisting words into this story, this incredibly detailed, wordy (but a good wordy), poem! I'm wrapped in your poetry because thats the thing, its like we never know what you're talking about...until the end. You make it all clear. Thats just amazing to me.

    You're incredible, I really admire your writes.

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