Ruptured After Sundown

Being an imagery writer is very difficult because it's hard to place a scene on paper, so I respect anyone who can. They poem really blew me away Hannah. Though it was an older poem you have it's unbelievable. The first stanza is rich with imagery and really places every reader there on the beach. Or that's where my mind wanders to here. Of course this stanza is about the sun setting and the moon waiting to wake up. I loved the use of aquamarie ink. That line is great and that's what made me think of the beach/ocean.

I actually love how you dont have any "characters" here because you are setting the story up. Then you add "you" in the second stanza. Whether it really be you or just someone you added. It works well I feel. Also the "hidden person" is also there. I love how vague you make it. It really does leave the reader guessing or not whether you are in love or you imaginesoneone there with you. I loved how you can leave it up to iinterpretation.

The second half is interesting to me because it makes the first half seem like a daydream. The first half has a really romantic feeling to it but the second half as a snap back to reality to it. Since it is the sad category I feel like this is true. You can really feel the heartbreak of the character and I love that. Because it really shows how the world is. Anyway. I truly loved your ending as well. We all want a reason to feel loved and I think you show how it can disappear so fast. The imagery is outstanding. Well done.

Again I love this one Hannah..you just see to effortlessly be able to place the reader right into the scene with your very creative wording!

It's strange because I normally think the first stanza in a poem should be the strongest to grab the reader's attention and yet...after a few reads I thought (just my opinion) it was the weakest in this one and yet, there was enough there to keep my interested.

The other stanzas were just excellent with so much imagery that I couldn't pick a favourite...loved every one of them!

Like summer,
you arrived too late
and left too early -
abandoning porch swings
and wind chimes...
who are just
searching for a
reason to sing.

This was a great ending to your poem...one very small critique...when you mention wind chimes you personify them by using 'who' perhaps that was your intention but if not, I think it should be that? Really enjoyed this one...

OMG Hannah!! Coming back and reading this, I'm totally blown away by the words, and the whole tone...there was a beauty in this, behind the sadness, mixed between it...and I just cannot compose my thoughts to form a comprehend-able sentence that explains my feelings to this piece.

The imagery in the first stanza was just hard hitting, so beautiful and full of amazing images, that just set the scene for me.

Wow, that second stanza, the addition of Mojito, made me smile for my own benefit but it added that tone of summer, and warmth and what you yearn for.

I can relate to summer not staying for long enough, and took this piece as a metaphor for anything that comes too fast and doesn't stay long enough, whether love, or happiness, someone special that you rarely see, it can be such a wide variety of things but I think that is the beauty of this piece.

The image of wind chimes and them singing, that was a beautiful way to end this piece.

You never fail to amaze me with your creativity and words.

Just beautiful as usual!

Hugs xx

I always love your work Hannah, this is yet another reason to love it more. I will write a proper comment when I slow down at work. Amazing job girl! <3