My Fear As I Awake, It Awakes

The demon inside of me begins to awaken
The craving and the habit
Taking over as the voice wiggles its way into my head
"He doesn't care about you"
"Or he'd say it"
"He'd tell you"
"He doesn't want you"
"He'll never need you"
Its cunning tone traps me
Hitting my weakest spots
My most tender places
My biggest fears
Asks for my hand because I feel yours slipping
As tears fill my eyes
Does he still love me?
Is all I can whisper
As I wonder with endless fear
Does he still feel it?
I doubt it
His words no longer carry the love he once felt
I want him to know I care so badly
I love him
I make the "I"
With the blade
And I can't stop
The heart filled I with gushing blood
As I pierce my skin again and again
My heart breaking
I beg of God to have mercy on me
As I begin to spell his name
Each with a memory of him and me
When he still told me he loved me
When each message was so sweet
Now he doesn't say he loves me to
Is it because he doesn't want to?
I wake up from this nightmare
My wrists untouched
To face the worse nightmare
"Is it because he doesn't care back?"