When Dreams Don't Climb

I love the opening! Sad however that dreams & aspirations are no longer as lively as before. I loved the idea of the heartbeat in them, sounded so very unique. Seems as though someone's dreams were shattered for whatever reason, maybe his hopes & wishes for them to come true were a bit much and then when they didn't happen he was crushed & thus he wishes not to dream anymore, yet wishes to see more of reality and life? Which seems odd in my mind because I feel like reality is often a huge slap in the face whereas dreams you're in a fantasy world and everything seems so real yet truly isn't. Your mind took me for a whirlwind here but in a good way. It doesn't seem like a complex poem but it certainly made me think. When dreams don't climb is so brilliant, I just loved that. Interesting write, I definitely liked the creativity in it.

What I understood from this was: a loss of passion/hope-homesickness-grief (maybe confusion before grief?) and shutting down. To me, it sort of conveys Kübler-Ross' "5 stages of grief" and it's interesting because we all are different hence having different reactions to grief/loss. People either "make or break" under certain pressures. Then I re-read the title and find it's actually more apt than I realized. Maybe certain circumstances (the death) brought about our character's downward spiral? I feel that before this, he dreamt big, there was passion, hope, love. And when one of these is taken away from man, the downfall is inevitable. Neat write, MaryAnne. Always a pleasure reading!

So sorry it took me so long to comment on one of your poems! I wanted to be able to sit down, really read it, and leave a comment just as helpful as the one you left me! c:

I love the last two lines of the first stanza -- a feeling everyone may relate to. It feels so surreal, dreamlike... It's just beautiful!

I can tell you are a brilliant poet just based on your diction -- "wanders" is such a beautiful, light word that conveys the perfect image for what you are speaking of.
I wonder at your choice of the word "deceit." It isn't as if I don't like it -- but I just wonder what kind of meaning is supposed to be evoked from understanding it. What is the fraud?

I also enjoy how some of the syntax is inverted:
"He now keeps to himself,"
instead of "Now he keeps to himself" as we would normally see it. I enjoy this especially because I always get a lot of crap due to my poems sounding "funny" because I love to play with syntax. I think it creates a different tone -- one more fitting to the poem, than if it were more "normal."

I love that you are willing to take risks!

Great job in separating the last word from the rest of the poem. It creates a hanging, looming feeling, which I suspect was meant. I can tell that you were very aware of what feeling you would be creating in each line.

Beautiful! I will probably be reading more of your work soon! c:

-z

I don't know whether the randomness of this at the time it was written, accounts for how disparagingly different each stanza was, but let me just say, that I really liked that, the changing tones.
And story that it told, of a disaster through no fault of anyone's, ended what he knew as his life, changed his perception, and how nobody really knew him, or what happened.

I can sense that there was some confusion in yourself when writing this, changes taking place in each stanza, as the author note at the bottom, changed about 3 times while I tried to comment as did the title...but sometimes that is when the most powerful pieces of poetry are crafted, when the deepest of thoughts is thought of.

There is so much relatable to life, how it can change in one event, how nobody really knows but yourself and even then you don't always understand.

I really loved this write, how it is about something tragic, yet can be written as many scenes and metaphorical ways of life.

Awesome, creative and thought provoking write MaryAnne, as always, nothing less than amazing.

:) xx