Comments : The Game We Play

  • 11 years ago

    by Ale

    Oh, that was a good poem. It's good you've written another poem. Hope to hear more!

    • 11 years ago

      by Tim

      Thanks for the comment aye. :) I stopped coming here years ago and just returned... I will post anything I write from now on. And will get round to writing that about me too lol.

      See you around :)

  • 11 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    Life is a struggle and you penned your feelings well. I love the expression you take when you say nothing will stop you from getting to the person you want. 5/5

    • 11 years ago

      by Tim

      Thanks mate, it means a lot... I'm glad you like it. I do like to show my attitude within my writing, so its great that you picked up on it, means im doing something right.... I will try and keep up to date with the stuff you write.

      Cheers again :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Kate

    Again, I like the theme. Games and all. Nice.

    For this line:
    "You either come out high or come low"

    You need to to put "out" before "low". It kinda throws off the rhyme here and it will make it parallel, like the rest of the poem with the rhyme.
    Just a suggestion. :)

    • 11 years ago

      by Tim

      :) I'm glad you mentioned that actually. The out was there initially, but I wasn't surebif it made the line too long or not... think I have a phobia of lines being irregular lengths, I should get over this. Haha.

      Thanks for the advice :)

  • 11 years ago

    by crystaljean88

    Very nice.. I enjoyed this very much