The Awakening of A Lonely Soul

The awakening of a lonely soul
I put all my love in a woman and all my trust in a friend, both said they would be down with me through thick and thin/
But thick got thin and the thin dwindled away, hints the titled of this spoken word I'm writing today/
God said put no other man before me but I chose a different route, idolizing the companionship like I didn't know what God was talking about/
Leaving behind the childhood memories forgetting my own lessons, to worried about the next man's come up to even concentrate on my own blessings/
To worried about the next lady that would entertain my lust, then looking in the mirror with the same thoughts of disgust/
It's hard for my thoughts to alter, So it makes it even harder to kneel let alone walk down to the alter/
Lord How Do I Change My Ways? Is how I started my prayer, but the phone rang and I decided ill pray about it later/
Still failing to realize God has been calling me all along, because by the time I answered there was nothing but silence on my phone/
Right then I fell begging the Lord to forgive me and strengthen me because I'm tired/
I'm tired of the depression I'm tired of feeling alone, I'm tired of being weak minded when physically I'm strong/
In Isaiah 42 you said you will turn dark to lightness and make rough places level ground,
well the earth is quacking beneath me and if there was a time I needed you I'm needing you now/
I can hear the screams and gnashings of teeth, I can see the flames and smell the burn of flesh, my life flashing before my eyes I can watch it digress/
So I cry out to you God in front of everyone I know to prove I am unashamed, I beg of repentance please take the weight because I cant bare no more of the pain/
I declare you will be the father of my life the light unto my path, you will guide my feet and every thought that I have/
And if I shall fail you will be the one to pick me up for there is no more trust in man,
Because he who lives without God is living in vain and simply will not stand/
So I'm praying for my forgiveness in Jesus name to protect this lonely soul, I'm praying to you in Jesus name to come into my life and take control/
You've been waiting on me to unfold my arms and take your hand, well hear I am father
Amman and amen