Hey, this was a really good poem, I felt your free-verse style certainly was interesting. I have yet to read any of your other works, so I might regret this comment, as it is being said out of ignorance, but have you considered trying out a structured poetry style? I think you would be able to use your considerable skills to make a great poem, even one constrained by a set rhyme and rhythm.

hey i really like the pattern of the poem!!!! every stanza changes the mood and the the story..... very orginal!!!