Eclipse

Wow hannah I always admire your dance poems as your metaphor wordage is excellent. Honestly I didnt see any flaws in here. I love the audience watch the moon and sun kiss. Unbelieveable.

Your flow is immaculate and I love the use of angel wings as it is peaceful. :)). 5/5

This is genius Hannah. It is so short but powerful and unique in the world of poetry. Normally an eclipse poem tends to focus purely on emotions and darkness, the pain and sorrow etc. But this is so involved with nature it is very different to what I expected.

I think you have the flow spot on here, and I actually like the Angel wings you chose for the first stanza, I think it just adds more innocence to the poem and the delicate tone of the peace you created. This could be taken into a childs point of view, and at that age, everything seems perfect and calm and life seems heavenly, so it fits for me because this is how I seen the poem.

I guess this poem could be taken in so many ways, I find myself having a few thoughts about what it can be compared to, I take it personally as a kind of lost love, like children falling in love, growing up in love but then having to say goodbye before their future really starts. This worked the best for me.

Thanks for writing such amazing poems that make my brain connect with them!

This is such a brilliant idea. I love how you took a dance challenge and turned it SO differently.. and the perfection of the scene is just amazing.

The ONLY thing I didn't love about this poem is the very beginning, using "angel wings". I love the acres part.. but angel wings seemed very...I don't know. I can't describe it :/ That being said, I absolutely can't think of anything else that would fit. Okay, maybe it's not so bad. lol

I love how you made the sun and moon seem like children playing. The peek a boo idea is so cute. Your second stanza I love, using the 'rises and sets', eliminating sun... for whatever reason I thought that was really neat and added something extra to the poem.

I also really like that even though I knew the title (I usually don't pay attention to titles), I was surprised at the third stanza and that you were literally using an eclipse.. ha! I was a bit slow on that one, but I seriously loved the imagery.. and the idea of their sixty-second kiss goodnight. What a really creative thing to use.

This is just something else thats amazing to me. I really, really love this poem.