Without you

by Sherwin Talapian   Jun 22, 2013


If i will be given
a chance to be with
someone through infinity.
live happily ever after
i'll chooses and pleases you
to come with me
hold my hand, together we flew.
to this land of dreams
and together we make it true.
so you will be happy
never be blue.
girl i might be selfish
but i must say it's true.
cos i'm in love, i'm in love with you
without you ?
i don't know what to do.
cos i will never be happy
without you.

June 22, 2013
Sherwin Talapian

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by average thoughts

    Sweet poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    First of all, i liked the rhyme scheme you put in this piece but must say that the tenses and punctuation are not perfect. You put a fullstop but then start the next line with a small letter which is not allowed.

    Due to the bad punctuations, i felt the flow of the poem was off balanced but its nothing a little editing wont be able to fix...overall, i liked the content and message you were conveying in this piece so i give it a 4

    • 11 years ago

      by Sherwin Talapian

      Sorry... sometimes i misinterpret those little things the big letter on the first words sorry. but i will make it better next time thanks for your comments sir it helps me a lot...

  • 11 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    Aww sweetie. This is so beautiful.

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