Comments : Untitled

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I actually see this more as a quote, I mean I love brevity in poetry and definitely don't believe there's a minimum or maximum amount of lines a poem should have... I just wanted more elaboration, more of your voice or even the character involved in this. The line that did strike me was this: "not wasted but with purpose".....there was such a final feel to that, like as if that is the only resolution, this self harm, and it's heartbreaking.

    So, this is all just in my opinion, but I'd suggest working on adding more imagery/emotion, it's up to you, but also working on the flow and structure so if you do write something very short, some words can be on their own line for emphasis even.

    Keep writing.

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    Short but had a lot to say, meaningful in every line

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Sorry, double post.
    * also, saw this was untitled. Don't know if you need suggestions or not but here's a few word ideas...

    Shed
    Exposed
    Alleviate

    or if you're absolutely stuck, you could take a word/phrase from the poem itself. I know I've had to do that before.

  • 11 years ago

    by Jessica

    I can relate :(. 5/5