Comments : Compromise

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    You are real <<-- first thought when I finished reading.

  • 11 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Cynnie,

    This was another really different piece from you. I really like that you're exploring your skills, I think you're find a lot of new ways to write and it's great to see.

    I found this piece very thought-provoking, it seems simple on the surface but once you begin connecting images you realize your words are almost like a chain, linking to one and other. For me I felt as though the image/word choice could not exist without the previous one and vice versa. While the words seemed to jump, almost like bullet points as we discussed in FOP in regards to Jeanann Verlee's poetry, here you don't have any blank spaces or voids where the reader was left feeling like something was missing. It all made sense and all worked well together.

    For me I felt as though this poem sums up your procrastination with writing for that competition lately, I am sure this poem could have a lot of different interpretations but that's what I found in it. It was interesting that you said tea without sugar because for me I only drink tea without sugar. I do understand your reason for linking these two together, they're usually a pair. As were all the images you used throughout.

    I think I was most fond of these lines:

    "graffiti at the insides
    of my cheeks,"

    Graffiti always comes in many forms but I thought about words being tagged and I started to wonder if maybe the words were embedded in your cheeks but not transferring to paper the way you wanted them to. Of course the last line is something that allows the reader to believe that this poem is directed at a certain someone but that was not the impression I had when reading.

    This was one of those simple yet extremely intriguing pieces in the way that it left me questioning my own interpretation. I know generally most pieces are open to more than one but I'm usually 100% comfortable when I find mine, yet with this my mind kept saying look deeper and find more but I'm not sure why.

    I really enjoyed this.
    Mel

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Tea without sugar, honey
    despite bees, trees
    instead of paper,
    a carving for expression;
    graffiti at the insides
    of my cheeks, no poetry
    but a diary, glass heart
    instead of crystal, glue
    in place of magic, mirage
    instead of you.

    - wow, I am glad I came across this little poem of yours. The title was really interesting and when I opened the poem up I was surprised to find such a short poem, and the layout of it. I guess I expected a story between two characters and for it not be so compact.

    As for the lines in the poem, they are each individually powerful to the eye, Each one makes me think of something deeper, the deeper meaning, tea without sugar, I first thought of sadness and loneliness because they should be together, then I thought of difference, because everyone has different taste and some people do not like sugar in their tea. The honey without the bees made me thin of freedom and magic I guess, how something could exist without the work being put in for it, and then how people do not like bees and are scared of them, so in this case, they would get the honey but wouldn't have to have the bees around.

    Moving on to the other ones, trees instead of paper, I found to be quite environmental, like protective of the world and the damage you can maybe see around you from the things we use.

    Graffiti inside your cheeks, I found this to mean your words inside that you have not spoke yet, that you know will come out like graffiti on a wall, as you would scribble them down on paper. I liked this image.

    I like how you add in poetry itself to your poem, and play with the idea of a diary rather than a poetry collection. It makes me think of the differences it would be, would there be any difference between a poem journal, and a diary of emotions.

    I like the ending, the mirage instead of you line. It made me think of the pain you feel, and perhaps this person has hurt you so much that it is easier to imagine them as an illusion instead of being real.

    I always try and relate to the title and try to figure out what the writer had in their mind when they wrote the poem, because we can all see things differently. And I guess here you were coming up with compromises inside your own mind, to try and comfort yourself through the pain or betrayal.

    Anyway, I really liked this poem, was very deep and like I said, it took me by surprise. xx