Storm Chaser

by Hannah Lizette   Jul 2, 2013


For years,
all I've tried to do is
capture the smoke that
follows you
and recreate it into
a graceful fog that
vanishes when you
reach a rayless
fork in the road.

But tonight,
you pilfered through
downtown cities of
backslider bones,
picking your teeth
with my splintered
rib cage -

my heart quakes
on a platter for
you to graffiti
with your mockery.

-

I guess that's what I
get for becoming a
storm chaser,
developing positives
instead of negatives,
missing the chance of
capturing you strike
a match across my
splinted wings.

-challenge given by JamesTheShadow to write about a fallen angel.

Copyright 2013: Hannah K.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    Wow, fabulous write. I absolutely love it!!

  • 11 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    Oh Hannah this is a wonderful write. I didn't know you would write a dark poem haha. Anyway I will try to break it down.

    First stanza- I lo e how you started it like this. Using smoke and fog for your choice words. I love how you used fork in the road as well. It is a choice you ha e to make. Unbelievable though as it captures what journey is about to begin.

    Second stanza/third stanzas- I love the use of the dash to tie the two stanzas together and I love the use of downtown and splintered rib cage ?? Great imagery there. As it truly shows how far the angel has fallen without their wings. The third stanza has unbelievable metaphor useage and when graffitiing you need a target and I love the angel being the target for their misery and pain. Third stanza is my favorite.

    Ending- storm chaser wow. I love how this character has a positive outlook on their life no matter how far they have fallen. Like no matter what they do they can't do anything right. To strike a match across splintered wings wow. The imagery there is so beautiful.

    I love this poem so much. It is unbelievable. Thiat is just what I think 5/5

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