Painted Skies

by Daylight Lucidity   Jul 2, 2013


This beach, one of morbid solitude,
invigorates the dreamer within me
allowing my thoughts to flood through
and spill from the tip of this pen
to the scratchy, comforting, surface
of a poet's canvas.

Waves lap at my exposed feet,
encouraging my heart's subdued desire
to lift my head, to escape from sorrow's pressure.

Cautiously, nervously, my eyes glance above
stunned into silent awe with such a vibrant scene:
the sun kissing the horizon before its slumber,
reaching delicate fingers of magenta and periwinkle
to brush along the cheeks of clouds
and to caress painted skies.

My muse gallops through my veins
to pump throughout my stiff heart,
cascading onto my notebook;
capturing painted skies
with but one rebellious upward look.

*challenge by JamesTheShadow*

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Well, that's a beauty! :)

    This first stanza lets the reader set the scene... a beach, around dusk.. seriously love the use of morbid to describe the darkness, that was very unique because you wouldn't think of a sky being morbid.

    This scene inspires you so much, it allows thoughts to flow freely just as the wind would blow.

    This second stanza is stunning... the imagery is flawless... sitting down by the water, I can see knees raised up with your notebook in your lap... and the waves kissing your toes... and you look out into the distance allowing your brain to just relax, kind of drifting outside of your thoughts...allowing you to escape.

    I LOVE how you personified the sunset. The fingers of magenta and periwinkle (great color choices!) ... to me that's almost like saying they have bright fingernail polish on! brushing their fingers across blushed cheeks... really just a beautiful thought you set here. <3

    I love how you described your muse galloping, meaning it came fast that you were truly inspired by this beautiful nature scene... but I also like the use of gallop here because it reminds me of when people ride horses on the beach, I think that's just a gorgeous sight. The sunset as the backdrop of a horse galloping down the beach. But yeah, I'm getting carried away with all my different thoughts lol.

    The ending is flawless, as is the rest of the piece... created a beautiful poem with just a glance upward. It's amazing how words can paint! :)

  • 11 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    Thanks for accepting my challenge. It is unbelievable what you did here :)).

    First stanza- wowww the imagery and vocabulary hereis ooutstanding. By far. I love how you set it up too. Every line flows so nicely and it is put together so very well. Well done for sure.

    Second stanza- short but probably the best stanza as you worded it so well. I love how the waves lap your feet because it tell the read that you are at a beach andthe scene is at night or dusk as you life your head to get iinspired to write :).

    Third stanza- I love how you enhanced the second stanza here. You continue to look up and find a muse for your writing. The sun kissing the horizon and the cheeks of clouds wow. This wording is great. It decribes the poem and scenery so damn well. I love how you input the title too it works well here. Colors always caress the painted sky.

    Ending- your muse gallops wow that is great wording as well. I love how you ended it so well. As painted colors cascade or flow from your notebook. As ideas come they seem to flow. And the last line is perfect because we can find inspiration from anywhere.

    Excellent everything in this poem I didnt see any flaws at all. You write beautiful ly. 5

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