Lifelong Punishment (Huitain)

by Meena Krish   Jul 9, 2013


Happiness grows and comes to play
but draws back into a dark cage
without compassion mistakes slay
as past comes visiting with rage,
shame, halts confession upon page
each day wilts away in torment,
memories locked with merciless image
becomes a life long punishment.

A Huitain has 8 lines. Each line has 8 syllables only.
Lines 1 and 3 should rhyme
Lines 2,4,5 and 7 should rhyme
Lines 6 and 8 should rhyme

    report violation
3


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    So very deep...this is simple awesome.

    as past comes visiting with rage

    This is so true & am sure so many could relate to this.

    Loved it...all the way.

    all the best & take care

  • 11 years ago

    by Vic Johns

    Without happiness you have nothing !

    Great wee poem Meena !

  • 11 years ago

    by Henry

    A very creative writing. A beautiful sad poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment:

    Meena, is the queen of formed poetry in my opinion! I have read several pieces by her, and this one stands out for me. She takes this form and wraps sorrow felt emotion in each line, tying together the thyme pattern nicely throughout. Truly admire this powerful poem.

    Well Done Meena

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Amazing!!! This is an incredibly sad and a well written poem. I really love it how you have put up the words with such great thought. The style is good.

    Keep writing:)

    Nominated!!:)

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