Softly

by Hannah Lizette   Jul 11, 2013


As you mindlessly
twirl my locks around
your finger,
describing the blue
the sky turned before
it rained and the
pocket change drops
that drenched the
origami flowers you
arranged -

I realized that love
doesn't always have
to begin like the 4th
of July,
sometimes it can
appear at your
doorstep at the
end of spring,
offering water-colored
clusters and canteen
thoughts...

sometimes love
just arrives softly.

Copyright 2013: Hannah K.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    This one is so great and heartfelt. I lovec it so much.

    My opinion! I love the way you stare into each others eyes as we twirls your hair around. That is adorable and such a young kid feeling inside. Its good that you cry and he is there to help you pick up the pieces. The metaphor is great here. I love how you used origami flowers at the end. They are beautiful in gheir own way.

    The magic of fourth of july is great. The fireworks the go off in the sky and your heart. There really is something special about it. You are a great writer here.Love can come uunexpectedly no matter where you are. You are right in that love comes softly. It is a gentle thing that is easy to break. Great! 5

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Aww Hannah this really is beautiful. It is so sweet and honest.

    I love the rain falling and how it ruined the origami flowers. I think this is so sad and how heartbroken he must have been to put that effort in. I think it relates to how delicate paper is and in the sense this is a love poem, so is our heart and our feelings. I also find it so romantic that he didn't buy you flowers but made origami ones instead, that is so sweet.

    Your ending was beautiful to come to that realisation that love can just happen as it happens, no planning or "movie scenes" just simply as it comes. The word soft fits so well here, for love and for the happiness in the poem. To think of love just softly floating by into your world is so beautiful Hannah, you really done a great job on this one. xx

  • 11 years ago

    by numbskull

    Love has no season

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    This is very beautiful Hannah and you should be proud of it. It reminds me of a last Sunday afternoon for some reason just chilling out and being content in each others company..

    As you mindlessly
    twirl my locks around
    your finger,

    ^^^^'

    just something that is very natural and would be done unconsciously as you cuddle up together.
    describing the blue
    the sky turned before

    ^^^^

    Not sure about these two lines? Maybe it should be 'describing how blue the sky turned before"?
    it rained and the
    pocket change drops
    that drenched the
    origami flowers you
    arranged -

    I did love this part...a lot of work goes into origami so...perhaps it's a metaphor...yes, I think so?

    I realized that love
    doesn't always have
    to begin like the 4th
    of July,
    sometimes it can
    appear at your
    doorstep at the
    end of spring,
    offering water-colored
    clusters and canteen
    thoughts...

    sometimes love
    just arrives softly.

    Yes it does...and it is as surprising as the flowers spring brings...you know...the seeds we planted and totally forgot about? Nice write Hannah....enjoyed!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Yes, yes, yes! I was nodding my head at the ending because I love how you expressed the message that love does not have to be like the 4th, or arrive brilliantly. How true it is that love can begin the small simple moments, a glance shared, a realization. Your imagery was very calming, and every stanza flowed so smoothly.

    Knowing love can also come softly is romantic, that when I dream of it, it doesn't have to arrive with tons of colors like a fireworks show, it can creep up quietly but just as beautifully.

    Lovely piece!

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