If I could tell you
How much this is stressing me out
I'd say my stress level is a 1,000,000.
Why did you lie to me?
After all that we've been through?
Why are you mad that I'm not mad?
I don't understand
I guess I won't ever.
I just want to be there for you
Through every challenge
Every obstacle
& you're getting mad when I don't have a negative reaction.
How can I look at you
The love of my life
The reason for my existence
& feel like I'm more of a burden
Than something that helps you?
Every tear
That streams down my face
In my attempts to help you
Hurts even worse
Than the dishonesty I thought you outgrew.
I believe I deserve this
Every single issue in this relationship.
Why would someone want to be with a person like me?
I'm so messed up
So broken
So scarred.
I understand why he's losing his love for me
I get why he isn't eager to talk to me
I wouldn't walk to be with me either.
I'm just afraid he'll give up
Because if he does
I'm done.
Every lie hurts
Yet I can't not love him
& I'll lay here
In my bed
Crying my eyes out
Hoping he doesn't stay mad forever
Hoping he shows me that he loves me again
Wishing for some simplicity
Into a complicated world.