Metamorphosis

First stanza- I love the wording here. I think we all want to feel free from everything here. We are all destroying ourselves. And pretty soon we will have to replace our inner selfs. I think thats what you are saying here. We all need or want to have peace in our insides and the only way we can do that is let all of our worries go.

Second stanza- the universe waits this leap. I love the imagery you portray here. We shouldn't mourn at all and we all need to be happy. We all can be happy if we try to be though.

Ending- I loveee this ending. We all fly free and we are all painted ugly from society which the crimson yellowbirds come in. We all believe what other people say we are. Thats why we are unhappy. We should all be different inside and thats why I love this message. We should all be who we are no matter what we do! Excellent write! ! 5/5

Strong finish in this well written poem

I switched around the ending a bit so it was easier to understand what I was trying to say. Thank you so much for this amazing review (:

OMG Crystal wow, this is fantastic. I am in love with the ending so much!

Just one error -
Beneath you are a yellowbird
- I think this should be beneath you is a yellowbird.

Surrender your skin,
fray the frail dermal wires
bridging each rib to the next and
uncomplex the machinery
of your inner workings-

- I love the fast flow this opens with, it sets the tone in which you are speaking outwards to the reader and telling them to come into this state of mind you are in. I straight away got a sense of freedom and relief within the first few lines, like hope and light is here and you are sharing this with the world.

Unravel your nerves,
unwind each gear, every bind,
it's time you extract
the clenched clock hands
arresting your spirit
and be free of that life.

- brilliant! So encouraging, your wording is so strong, I love the "clenched clock hands" it flows on the tongue very poetically. This is about letting go of all that holds you back in order to move forward. And we all have that, it may all be different but we all have those things int he past we need to move on from, so I know a lot of people are going to fall in love with this write too.

Why sit and mourn an empty shell
when there's branches of opportunity
just at your reach?
Abandon your nest of bugs and bones,
the universe awaits this leap!

- again the positivity remains and I can feel the motivation in this for others to do the same. We sometimes get stuck inside this cycle but often, reading words likes these is what it takes to help some people realise they are not alone and they can do it, they can get to that place they dream of.

Beneath you are a yellowbird
that life has painted crimson-
It doesn't mean that you're not beautiful,
it sings that you are different.

- Like I said already - I love this ending Crystal. I think you should actually post this part as a quote too. I think it just goes to signify how we can all have our happiness tainted, or feel inadequate compared to other people, like we should be better or different. But what you are saying is the truth , in that we are all beautiful and it doesn't matter what colour this bird is. The colour contrast here is also very powerful because yellow is so innocent and cheerful, where as crimson relates to blood and evil, and sorrow. This adds to the message even more that it does not matter what the past holds, you can still get to your future.

Excellent title choice - very unique and eye catching which makes the reader come in, and they are by far not disappointed.

Love this soo much. Nominated for sure!