The Difficult & The Common

by Jaymi Lynn   Jul 16, 2013


Its hard not to hate when its venom
runs its course through one's veins;
Hard not to follow the path at
the peak of one's toes when it leads so straight.
Yet somehow harder not to love
when one has never known such a thing,
and even harder to trust, when one would rather lust
because of its common place among feelings...

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  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Interesting little poem and great unique title which fits well.

    I think a little changing of some words ould make this poem a lot better, I felt too many its in the beginning and found it a bit off putting and a little confusion, it was harder to follow and had to re read it to try and make sense of it.

    To begin with the first opening "its" should be it's (it is) then perhaps you could change the second or third its to the?

    The message itself is very good and your idea is good, just a little rewording so that it flows better for the reader will make a bigger impact for them and give your poem justice.

    xxx