Patented

Your opening is so raw and direct, as you know from the bottom of your heart you don't want to be traced back here or know other people continue to have memories of you. There's such confusion in the first stanza that really spoke to me- what do we do with ourselves? is this my reality? not feeling like it's somewhere we belong...

The second stanza made me think there are some moments of our past we can't escape, as much as people say we'll be able to move on, it's hard, hard to find healing. But it will come with time.

I know it's easy to blame ourselves, whether it be sin or our actions for the reason why people didn't stay, why promises weren't permanent. But we have to break that cycle. We don't have to let the past define us...and I know that's a very hard thing to accept, especially if it's very personal.

Love how you worded the ending! Your endings never leave me with a frown because I always have to ponder right after.... it maybe had a hint of hope in the end? Because you are just looking back now, knowing you weren't the strength you realize did, or see so close and able to reach now.

You definitely speak of a journey here, a need to find yourself, and the emotion breaks my heart. What a powerful poem Chels!

Part of regretting something is having moved on to a different place, a better one. Regret is when we wish we didn't act the way we did because it was harmful to us in some way..but knowing that means we are now stronger, wiser.

The emotions held within this piece are so powerful.. It's a piece I feel I can relate to..

Great work! x

Chels I love this - when I read your work sometimes I think it's very creative or greatly put together, but other times my first thought is I can relate to this and can't believe how poetically you have worded such simple emotion.

I've never carved my name into a tree or left my initials
in wet cement. I don't want to be remembered here.
Always feeling out of place; like this life I've lived
was wrong, the people weren't real, and these nights
were made up-
but they weren't.

- the idea of carving your name into things, which we see so often in the streets, is so clever to show your state of mind, it shows you do not feel worthy of being remembered, like you live in and see a different world than everyone around you which makes you feel isolated. I can sense the reflection of the past here, how others think of you and what decisions you have made, and then perhaps how you think of these things yourself. Regrets of what you have done/ and didn't do. This opening can connect with many readers and take them to the memory of this place they have been in too. The fact it feels so unreal sometimes that this life belongs to you and it is real - it feels like a dream.

Men use to buy me flowers to make up for misused
words, little did they know, roses bled petals as I
shed tears. Nothing ever cured my pain, healed my
wounds. No one ever made it better, cleared my doubts.
I was living in a come and go kind of world.

- I like the mention of men giving you flowers, this is such a common tool for them to say sorry when they have done wrong but there is no real apology in the flowers, more just an act of hope that it will let you forgive them. I also like how you show that every time they gave you the flowers, it caused more pain and was not such a pretty sight as that others would see. This stanza also shows that there is perhaps a more in depth pain inside of you that lingers, so despite being hurt in a smaller way by someone, the insecurities and hurt inside make the pain even stronger. It feels like this pain will always be there and no one could ever make it better.

People came and demolished. People left and destroyed.
A heart that stood cloud-high turned to rubble they all
walked on. History made itself in sinful adventures and
there was no one to blame but myself.

- the first line here really caught my eye, I read it again and again and just felt drawn to it. It shows that no matter if people came or went, either way they caused pain. This is a very sad thought but we all know how true it can be. Then to mention the rubble, not only as a metaphor of how you feel apart but to show how they used you and treated you, this was really powerful. Then the ending shows that you hold all the blame for everything inside, even though you know they have hurt you and let you down - the blame is still turned around towards you. sometimes I feel it is easier to accept the blame when no one else is around to accept part of it.

I am the product of my own ingredients;
looking back now, I wish I made myself
stronger.

- love your ending - it sums up the reflective thoughts you have had through out the poem and gives us a conclusion as to what you came up with in the end. I think this ending is a quote within itself that others will relate to and connect with.

Loved this Chels a lot. xx

I think you need to write about Bikini waxing!!

Seriously my sweet one, this breaks my heart.. BUT- its a strong and powerful piece that you needed to write. Very happy you posted this piece. very strong and powerful indeed!