So many senses in the first stanza, it's overwhelming but in a good way. I love how you bring in contrasts and something people NEVER do -- talk about keeping the weight alive.

It's funny, because I find this poem sarcastic. Technically these are a lot of things people generally don't want to do. But you're craving to do the wrong things here, and it makes me feel like you have this over-dramatic idea of what life is supposed to be, but because it isn't, you're going to create it one way or another.

But only the second stanza kind of changes that a little with the last two lines.. a bit of clarity in the chaos.

I have absolutely no idea what you're really feeling here, lol. I need to re-read a bit more.