Comments : For the Sake of Sybille

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I really like the way you made the phone call expected because in poetry they are usually unexpected. So this was a nice change to read.

    I like the deepness of the story and how we can sense the history of the characters life as being one of a troubled past and perhaps influenced mainly by her peers, those around her and the influence of either drugs or alcohol. Which I assume is what killed her rather than suicide itself.

    The ending of the story is very cryptic because it indicates at revenge but in a much greater way than simply a life for a life. I wonder what this means and if this person is aware of how to cause greater pain than death which makes it very twisted and dark.

    Your title is capturing and I assume the character is called Sybille?

    I thought you done well to combine the 2 challenges and still make it so short and impactful on the reader. I also like the mystery to it and how much we have to use our own imagination to create the scene and decide what the outcome is going to be. I gathered the main character in this poem was a relative and I got like a father figure who feels angry that his daughters life has been taken and blames the people around his daughter.

    Nice work