Comments : Spooks

  • 11 years ago

    by ThebutterfliesMuse

    Wow the first stanza I can totally imagine in my head and I can hear the screams so clearly. I love how you used haunting with scream. It really does bring an eerie feel the the poem. It really brings the dark side to life!. Ear being assulted is also amazing because I think of a war with guns all around but instead of guns they are spooks ;). The imagery is so great they appear but as memories. With someone who doesn't know anything about them so he might be getting possosied. And falling to your knees hads a great effect to the story ad he is scared and weak.

    Describe the place as s black hole adds so much to it as well. Like you are being sucked into something you dont want to be. Boxes being thrown is great as it proves they are angery for someone being in their territory. Yes this here the haunting truly begins. When they try to take over his soul. I can imagine a rapid breath and heartbeat. And it gets faster and fast when they try to take his human form over.

    The story yes. All they want to do is be heard no matter what ghey feel. Maybe to finally have some peace of mind or to haunt or get revenge. I can see the tears flowing down this person's eyes as it is a sad tale as the killer for no reason is in their home. They are left to roam with no peace in their souls. I love the element of sad you bring here though. It is a wonderful thing to prove that the ghosts are still human inside even though are now spooks. A whole family is sad too. This could totally be based on reality for sure. So sad.

    I love the way you ended it with the guy getting revenge. And the chills in the air adds a nice touch because the story gets cold in a sense. I love how you also leave it up to the readers to figure out what happens next. The vague ending is greattt. Overall you did a wonderful job wiyh this. 5/5