Comments : Branding Iron

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Woef gurl damn!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Britt

    I can't believe you worked something as cliche as 'golden promise' and turned it into a line so flippin awesome. I should know better, you do things with poetry that I can't understand lol.

    I really love this. I don't feel like you were given any prompts, it goes so closely with your usual poetry!

    To me it reminds me of someone who came from a poverty stricken childhood, who moved up in the ranks of society, but swore they'd never change and always be humble. Money, power, fame, beauty finally got to this person (Its carpet will be drunk on Armani
    and the only time you look back will be
    to make sure you haven't left your heart
    on her bed sheets) That part made me realize this for sure -- a ladies man who swears he'll never fall in love. The contradiction with never being a sinner and him taking up the cross is where it really touched me - of course everyone sins but he's not repenting. He's a hypocrite in the biggest sense and leaving behind his values and integrity to be someone he isn't.

    The last part makes me think that perhaps he did fall in love, or perhaps always loved this person but she was a part of his past.. a past he couldn't force himself to return to. Obviously a sexual reference but theres more to it.. an intimacy. He scarred her, and perhaps it scarred him as well.

    Theres so much depth to this piece, I absolutely love it. Not to mention the title -- perfect tie in.

  • 11 years ago

    by Saerelune

    You're leaving yourself more and more bare in your poetry, and I love that, yet this poem is so typically you! You often incorporate scents and body parts and something with travelling in your poetry, yet it never becomes boring, it's always refreshing, maybe due to the combinations you make.

    Carpets drunk on armani, candy fields and bananas, a mouth that tastes like golden promises and ale ... If I could eat your poetry, my taste buds would explode. =p

    I also liked the half-rhyme of "sinner" and "bitter", not sure if it was intentional, but it's little things like these that add this extra spark to a poem (lest it become "just another poem"). It keeps sticking in your head like some clever word play would.

    While the whole poem is very sad and painful, I liked how you built it up. Not immediately throwing all your pain on the reader. It kind of slips in like a depression would. I say that because your beginning was quite soft, but as you went on you started to throw in much harsher images, such as the bone yard, crucifix, money, and at last the cow branding. It makes a big impact.

    Well done on incorporating the prompts, quite honestly the only part that didn't seemed "you" was the thing about power and beauty, but you counter-attacked the oddness by repetition and your own creative flare. =p Well done!

  • 11 years ago

    by Burning Angel

    Wow, this poem made me speechless. I love all of the imagery you used through out the poem. the poem itself is beautiful!

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    I'm also trying to understand how you have the ability of being so sensual and seductive without being overly sexual in your pieces... I don't get

    Is this how it goes down in Aus? Are you sure you're not hot blooded and from the carribean? Cause damn it girl. I cannot

    You are a blue eyed little vixen and don't tell anyone about that hmmm....

    Poetry at its finest my melissa jayne<3