Comments : Concomitant.

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    What an amazing poem. There is so much inside this!

    I love the opening description, you can really imagine that warm milk, and I often find it a comforting drink for people when they do feel lonely or tired or sad. I think you done well to choose this instead of the cliché alcohol approach. I love again the pizza, another comfort food that people eat when they are lonely. It is quick and easy and doesn't involve any effort to eat.
    I think the unbrushed teeth also goes to show state of mind - like how far this person has gave up on themselves and they just really live inside this loneliness.

    You gave us a the great picture of the dream, of being with someone and not having a care in the world. I like how we could all see the sun coming up in the morning and rising above the earlobes - that was a brilliant line, lots of character to it.

    Then, you bring us back to the reality, which is the loneliness is real. Also, I adore your ending of a loveless night being an after taste. Like the pain of the loneliness from the night before is the first thing you think of and feel when you wake up.

    Excellent title choice, had to google the word as had never heard of it before, very clever and fitting. WEll done guinea pig.